eheadspace Group Chat
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Group Chat
Navigating relationships
February 19th 2016 @ 7pm AEDT
Relationships with friends, partners, family, teachers and workmates impact our mental health and wellbeing. Positive relationships provide us with a feeling of being respected and cared for. It’s important to know what makes a healthy relationship and how to get things on track.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Kristal eheadspace: Hi everyone and welcome to our February live info session. Today we’re exploring the topic of relationships in all their forms. Relationships are the basis of the human experience, our relationship with ourselves is a constant evolution of learning and accepting and has a huge impact on our relationships with other people.
Relationships come in various forms: family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, teachers and romantic. Each type of relationship has its own difficulties and stress to navigate. Today we’re open to talking about whatever you’re wanting to focus on.
As usual, we love it when you give feedback and your own advice to others – so feel free to do that.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Kristal eheadspace: Joining me today are eheadspace clinicians Zee, Cyndee, Jessie, Krystel and Kim (glad there are others else here that don’t end in the –ee sound!) Unfortunately we don’t have anyone from hY NRG joining us, so we will be counting on you to make up for their absence!
A couple of things before you start chatting!
• When you submit your question it won't appear straight away
• Our team will be busy reading and preparing an answer to your question before it is posted live - we appreciate your patience!
• If we can't publish anything we'll let you know
• It also helps if you use a name (even if it's not your own!) so if you have a follow up questions we know who we're talking to
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Kristal eheadspace: People are meant to be with other people, we flourish with other people. Relationships teach us positives and negatives, they can be scary, beautiful and encompassing. They may not always work out how we plan or want them to but the risk is always worth it.
Relationships take work, and effort and sometimes they may not feel great. It’s important to be able to work out the reasons for that and come up with plans so you feel more comfortable
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Brandy
have you every loved somebody so much it made you cry? have you ever needed someone so bad you can't sleep at night? have you ever...? have you ever?
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From tori
So I did something pretty crap that I feel awful about and now my friend won’t speak to me. I already tried calling and texting to say sorry but they’re not answering. When try to talk to them at school they tell me to leave them alone. I’ve really ruined everything. How can I get them to forgive me?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Jessie eheadspace: Hey Tori, It’s so awful to feel like we’re trying our hardest to apologise and yet our friend’s not ready to hear it. It can take time for people to heal from what’s happened and it might be the case that right now your friend needs a little space. What you can do is continue to acknowledge how hurt your friend is feeling and let them know that you’d like the opportunity to discuss what happened and to find a way to be friends again. If they need space for a bit them allow them to have that too. Saying sorry is a really hard thing to do and lots of people have a tough time with it. Here’s some more tips that might help: https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-have-difficult-conversations
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Shelley
My older sister is bossy. I don’t know how to talk to her without having an argument.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Zee headspace: Hey’ya Shelley.
Sounds like you are wanting to gain some skills in keeping discussions mellow- this is totally awesome. Assertiveness is the healthiest approach to communication. In a nut-shell assertiveness means standing up for your own rights, while at the same time respecting the rights of others.
Using “I” statements is a great way to start practicing assertiveness (for example, I feel.......when you.......). These statements place less blame on the other person and rather emphasise how you feel. There are more components to assertiveness, including how you look, sound and what you say when you are giving feedback about your feelings.
Just remember, assertiveness requires practice. Also when discussions do get heated, best to avoid assertiveness until both you and others are feeling calm.
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Jess
When I go out with friends, everyone seems to have a great time and be really involved, but no one seems to notice me. I can sometimes go a whole night only saying a couple of things and then later on I feel really irrelevant and devastated. What should I do?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Hi Jess does sound tough. It seems like even before you are due to go out, you are already worried about what may happen and at times this can stop us from having fun - as we get too self conscious all the time when we are out with people.
What I suggest perhaps is to have a bit more of a relaxed approach and think about having fun with your friends rather than worrying about what may happen. Here is a link perhaps you can read through
Perhaps also try initiating conversations as well and finding general topics that may be of interest as a starter...
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Laura
I was really looking forward to going to the movies with my mum but she cancelled on me like always without even apologising. She has mental health issues and lots of workers and lots of dramas, and she never prioritises me. How can I get her to pay proper attention?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Kim headspace: Hey Laura!
Thanks for logging on tonight. That's tough when you want to spend time with your mum and she keeps cancelling :( It can really sting! From what you said, it sounds like she's got a bit going on but it would be good if she actually spent a bit more quality time with you :)
You could try letting your mum know how you're feeling. Maybe you could find a time where things are a little quieter for your mum and let her know how you're feeling. She probably doesn't realise how her cancellations affect you! Be open and honest with her and she'll hopefully put in a bit more effort into your relationship.
If you're still struggling, feel free to talk to someone like a school counsellor or visit a headspace centre for some extra support. Good luck :)
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Kirra
I really don’t get along with my step dad. He’s rude and is disrespectful towards my mum. I’m always getting in arguments with him and its so hurtful when mum takes his side all the time. Just want to leave home but obviously can’t because I’m 15. IDK what to do.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Krystel eheadspace: Hi Kirra, that would be very isolating having to feel as though you are on your own. Have you tried talking to someone outside of the family? Sometimes it is good to get some support from outside the family to get an idea of how you could approach the situation. Also it could be a good idea to pull your mum aside and let her know how you are feeling and have your feelings heard and validated. She might not know how you are feeling. Sometimes people find it easier to write a letter to their parents so it's not too overwhelming and you can let her know exactly how you are feeling.
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Guest
I seriously can’t cope with my teacher at school. It seems like no matter what I do they pick on me. I’ve had like three detentions this month already for “being disruptive” even though there are other people in my class who do much worse stuff than me. I don’t even want to go to class anymore but then I get in trouble for not going too. How can I get the teacher to stop giving me detentions and just generally being a bully?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Kristal eheadspace: Hey there :) That sounds like a very sucky situation! I wonder if you’ve thought about talking with them privately and asking them why they seem to target you? You could ask them for some feedback about what you can do to change the dynamic that exists, and you could have a think about what you would like them to do differently to support you and let them know that too.
You might be surprised, they might not even be aware that they’re picking on you!
This link has some more info that you might find helpful - https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/getting-along-teachers.html
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Brandy and Monica
I'm sorry that you, seem to be confused. But he belongs to me. The boy is mine.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Kristal eheadspace: Loving the lyrics!!
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Brandy and Monica
I look at you lookin' at me. Now i know why they say best things are free. I'm chekin' for ya, boy you're right on time. Angel of mine.
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Iris
I’m starting a new job in retail and I’m so worried about all the new people I’ll have to talk to. I’m not a shy person but I do feel a bit nervous around new people. It’s a big team of staff…not to mention all the customers! It looks so natural for others to just say hi or whatever but for me It’s not like that at all. How can I learn to talk to people without being so awkward?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Jessie eheadspace: Cool to meet you Iris. Talking to new people can be so nerve-racking! I can tell you that EVERYONE feels awkward talking to new people at first so don’t be put off by that. Start by saying hi and introducing yourself. From there you might like to ask people a bit about themselves like when they started working at the company, where they’re from, if they know what the good lunch spots are nearby etc. Remember that it’s normal to have silences and you’re both equally responsible for the conversation so don’t feel like you need to do all the work! The more you talk with people, the less nervous you’ll feel and the more easily conversation will flow. For more info you might like to check this out: https://au.reachout.com/mental-fitness/meeting-new-people Good Luck with your new job!
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Marie
Hey. Im Marie and I seem to have trouble making good friends. Like I have friends I hang with at school but no one wants to invite me to stuff outside of school. Not sure what Im doing wrong. How can I b a better friend?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Kim headspace: Hi Marie! Thanks for joining us. That’s a good question. It sounds like you’re on the right track on becoming a better friend. You’ve already got a good bunch of people you’re spending time with at school so really, you’re already most of the way there.
Being a good friend means showing them you genuinely care about them. It’s about listening to them when they talk about what they’re interested in or things they worry about. People love it when friends take a genuine interest in what they have to say. And it’s also about having fun with your friends. If they like doing particular activities e.g. sport or art, consider joining in too. By some fun activities together with your friends, you might find they really start to dig your company, so much so, they want to spend even more time with you! These web sites might give you a few more ideas to try…
And don’t forget, you can actually be the one that invites someone over- you don’t have to wait for them to invite you. It can be a bit scary but you might be surprised and they might say yes! All the best Marie :)
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Bex
Hey, I have a question about teachers... I'm talking to my year adviser about personal problems, and I was wondering where should I draw the line on like talking about family issues and stress etc.?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Hi Bex thanks for logging in tonight. You know what there is really nil limits in how much information you want to share with your year adviser, as long as you feel comfortable sharing these sutff with them and also that you are getting help from being able to share how you are feelings.
I wonder whether your school has a Wellbeing Coordinator or a Chaplain and perhaps this can be another option for you, if you are not feeling comfortable revealing too much information to your year adviser. Perhaps they are more the suitable people at school that you can talk too when it comes to personal stuff to support you. Also do mention it to your year adviser too that you are considering and thinking about speaking to the Wellbeing Person at your school, if you are feeling uncomfortable in sharing too much with your year adviser.
Good luck :)
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Guest
Kirra I thought I would tell you that I struggled with my step dad too...ive tried some of the suggestions froom the chat headspacedid on parents and breakups and it seems to have helped a bit
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Kristal eheadspace: Thanks Guest - it's great you found that helpful :)
I found the link for that session too, so if you want to check it out Kirra you can.
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:27 pm
Comment From Jagged Edge
When I think about all the years we put in this relationship Who knew we'd make it this far? When I think about where would I be if we were to just fall apart And I just can't stand the thought of losing youMeet me at the altar in your white dress We ain't getting no younger, we might as well do it Been feeling you all the while, girl, I must confess Girl, let's just get married I just wanna get married
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From jared
I suffer from depression and i don’t feel like my friends understand or are there for me, help!
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Krystel eheadspace: Hi Jared,
That sounds like you've got a lot on your plate! Sometimes the things that are going on for us are really personal and its hard for us to talk to our friends about whats happening. Thats totally normal. Sometimes even if people know whats going on they dont really know how to help. In many cases its a good idea to seek out someone who is trained to help people sort these things out, like a counsellor or psychologist. Its good to remember that you're not alone and if you want it there is always help available. For a start you might try:
Or you might like to visit someone in one of our centres:
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kim headspace: Wow! We have lots of RnB fans here tonight. Lovin' the song lyrics :D
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From sammy
mum and dad are so weird. they just dont getme. they say things to sound like they get me but they don’t. we fight all the time. how do I get them to just leave me alone?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kim headspace: Hi Sammy, thanks for your question. It’s tough when you feel like you and your parents are on completely different wavelengths! We actually hear this a lot, when young people want some space and are becoming more independent, but parents are still trying to look out for their kids and guide them to what they think is best. It can make for a recipe for more arguments!
If you’ve noticed you and your parents aren’t getting along, they’re probably noticed it too. It might be helpful in trying to have a chat with them about how you’re feeling. Sometimes it’s helpful to do this when you’re not feeling so angry and when they’re more calm too. Think about an ideal time to start the conversation e.g. when they’re driving you to school, doing dishes together etc – sometimes doing an activity with them can make it easier to talk! By having an open conversation, hopefully you and your parents can get a better understanding of each other’s side and try to come up with some agreements that respects both you and your parents’ wishes. These links might also give you a few more things to try.
Good luck Sammy :)
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Brandy and Monica
I look at you lookin' at me. Now i know why they say best things are free. I'm chekin' for ya, boy you're right on time. Angel of mine.
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Bonnie
I am always fighting with my Mum, I feel like she doesn’t understand what it is like to be a 15 year old, how do I stop us fighting all the time?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Zee headspace: Hey Bonnie, sorry to hear you & mum are fighting frequently. It sounds like getting along with mum is really important to you & this is a massive strength. I would like to encourage you to check out the links on assertive communication I posted above. Also, avoiding tricky conversations when things are heated may help. It does sound that having a bit of a discussion with mum about how you feel is really important. Maybe also setting up a word with mum that you can both use to end an argument, when in one, may help. =) Good Luck
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Goon girl
I’m in a relatively new relationship and my partner is constantly telling me that I’m too private and that I’m not letting them in. They’re really loving and kind and so different to what I’m used to in a relationship. I’m worried that my exes have changed me so that I can’t be me anymore.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kristal eheadspace: Hey there – relationships do change us, sometimes not for the best. When we’ve had negative experiences (like it sounds you have) we can put up walls. Sometimes these walls are very high and we need time to lower them. It’s important when you recognise that you have walls that are keeping you from being able to be as you want in a relationship to look at the reasons for the walls – are they still valid? Do you need to have those protective walls in this relationship? They played a role in protecting you in the past, but if you don’t need them anymore does that mean they’re now preventing you from loving and being loved? If you’re finding it difficult to deal with this by yourself you might like to think about popping into your closest headspace centre, you might find it easier to bring those walls down with someone to help you!
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Bex
Thanks, I feel really comfortable talking to my year adviser but I feel really uncomfortable talking to the 2 counsellors at school for some reason. I was just wondering how much I should tell my year adviser because I'm scared she thinks it's too much for her and she shouldn't deal with it... I hate the counsellors and she's the last person I have left that I can talk to face to face... thank you!!!
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Sounds tough I wonder have you ask your year adviser whether it is too much for her.
My other suggestion perhaps is if you feel you cannot talk to the counsellors at the school perhaps check out one of our headspace centre to see counsellors face to face for support as your other option.
here is the link to locate the closest centre to you:
good luck....
Participant
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28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Stella
I find saying no to my friends difficult and sometimes I find myself doing things I am not okay with.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Zee headspace: Hello Stella. =)
Healthy relationships can’t exist without boundaries. Constant people-pleasing may mean that your needs are not getting met. If this is the case, speaking up is really important. You have every right to say ‘no’ and to change your mind after you have said ‘yes’. A great way to start is by having a think about the rules you would like to live by & then practicing saying “no”. Saying “no” does get easier over time. To name your limits, tune into what makes you feel uneasy.
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Ben
Last year at Uni, I made no friends. How does one meet new people? At high school I did have some friends but we have lost contact over time because everyone has just been so busy.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Zee headspace: Hey there Ben, thank you for your question.
Forming new friendships can be a pretty tricky gig for lots of people. It is not uncommon for spontaneous catch-ups to become increasingly rare, as people get busier and busier with uni or work life.
Doing things you love (out in town) really may increase your chances of meeting like-minded people (what are your hobbies?). Also seeing the same people over and over again (often the case at uni) sometimes does lead to bonding. Initiating conversation with familiar- strangers (for example, students in class), although sometimes anxiety provoking, does often help. This would involve showing a genuine interest in others (asking questions) and also sharing information about yourself. Other options worth considering include, participating in uni related activities (orientation week is a good one).
Just remember looking for friends (at any stage) is totally normal, as are attempts at friendship going wrong! Your history of having had friends in the past, makes us think you have what it takes ;)
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From reub
I find it hard to talk to people, I don't know how to start talking to them
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kim headspace: Hey Reub!
Thanks for your question. Yeah, it can be a little nerve wracking starting a conversation with people. Actually we hear this a lot, some people find it hard to talk to others. But you'll find it will get easier with lots of practice. What might be a good conversation starter is just asking questions about the other person you're talking too. People like others taking an interest in them so this might help! You could try talking about things you think you have in common with them too. That might get the ball rolling. Just try your best, once you get the conversation rolling, it'll be easier :)
Here's another link that might help too:
Good luck Reub :D
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Zee headspace: Any more questions people...... "Oh Love"......
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Maddi
I am worried that guys are only interested in me for sex and not for me, what can I do?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Jessie eheadspace: Hey Maddi – sounds like your gut feeling is telling you something important about these guys and more often than not those feelings are spot on. Whether it’s a hook up or an ongoing thing, it’s important we feel respected and we’re on the same page as the person we’re with. Having an open conversation about this stuff is important and something I’d encourage you to do. When we’re new to sex, dating, and relationships it’s hard to know how to navigate things and what respect looks like. Might be worth reflecting on what you’re after and keeping an eye out for the warning signs that something’s not right. Here’s a great link with heaps of info on respectful relationships: http://lovegoodbadugly.com/the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/
If you’re having sex it’s also important to play safe – use contraception and get regular sexual health check ups. We did a live info session here a while ago on sex that has more info about this stuff. Here’s a link to it: http://www.coveritlive.com/...
Hope that helps for now:)
Participant
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28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Stacey
My best friend is always on the phone and it’s so annoying. I hate it! What can I do, I feel like she is ignoring me?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Zee headspace: Hi Stacey, In this day & era, putting the phone down for lots of people can be especially tough. Feeling ignored is completely understandable- talking to someone who is not present with you is definitely not ideal. Have you spoken to your bestest about your concerns? Are you able to flag the way you feel in an assertive manner (see the links posted on this forum for more info about assertiveness)? If you have spoken to her/him, but to no avail- perhaps setting limits on this behaviour may be helpful (for example, reminding your friend a couple of times and then re-scheduling the catch-up if required). Another option would be doing activities you both enjoy that inherently make phone time a little tricky, for example walking, shopping, playing soccer etc (of course this may be only an option if your friend’s on board too).
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Anon
I have a crush on my teacher! what should i do??
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
It is okay to have crushes on your teacher - there is nothing wrong with how you are feeling, as this is more an admiration you are feeling towards them. Am sure there are other young people there who can relate to what you are saying tonight.
My suggestion is to perhaps reassure yourself that it is okay and as long as you keep in mind the importance of boundaries, as at the end of the day they are your teacher and you are the student and you do not want to get into any sort of trouble by overstepping this line.
Good luck:)
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Malcolm
my girlfriends puts me down alot, yesterday she said that i have a tummy and i need to do some crunches! I'm actually starting to feel a bit tense around her. also I have feelings for her best friend who is a lot nicer to me and said that she liked my plywood model houses, this is a passion of mine. but i feel guilty about having feelings about others when im with my gf. help?!
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kim headspace: Hey Malcolm!
It's never a good feeling when your partner is making comments about your image. Of course you would feel upset! It might be helpful to let her know the impact of those comments on you - she might mean well but it's not making you feel good about yourself. When others make negative comments about your image, it's important to focus on your positive qualities. And I'm sure you have many :)
Here's some links that might help boost how you feel about yourself:
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Krystel eheadspace: Hi Malcolm, sounds like you are torn between two people which can be a very confusing experience. In life we can find ourselves attracted to more than one person which can be a normal experience. Sometimes this attraction to someone else though is telling us something deep down- sometimes we need to ask ourselves if our needs are being met in the relationship- you might actually be attracted to the idea of being treated well from what I'm hearing. It sounds like having an honest conversation with your girlfriend might be a good next step in your relationship- fundamentally relationships are about respect and it's important that you respect the relationship by trying to work on it but also that you feel respected in the relationship as well. All the best Malcolm :)
Participant
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28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From anon
my dad drinks a lot of alcohol and gets really angry every night. I don't like being around him and feel like I cant bring frineds home because its embarrassing. how do I tell my friends why I don't ask them over?
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Zee headspace:
Hey anon,
Sorry to hear things are tough at home. Sounds like your friends don’t know about things at home. Opening up to people you trust (if you feel safe and ready to do so), may create a space for understanding & problem solving. Have your mates raised any issues? They may be super happy to hang with you out in town or in their homes? Anon also If you are feeling stuck, just remember you are welcome to come online for an anon chat. Fingers crossed everything works out for you asap =)
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kristal eheadspace: Hey anon, that's a really good question and hopefully zee has some ideas that you can use. I think it's important to be honest with people that you trust. But if you don't feel comfortable then maybe you could just say that your parents don't let you have people over?
I think it would be good to talk a bit more about some of the things that are going on for you and your family. It can be scary if people are drinking a lot and often, and it sounds like sometimes dad gets a bit angry. I wonder if you've thought at all about talking with your school counsellor about this?
You're very welcome to log on and chat with us at eheadspace because you might have other things to chat about too. You can even call us on 1800 650 890 and seeing as you're chatting on here I reckon you already know how to log in and have a webchat with us :)
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kristal eheadspace: We’d better start wrapping up now, the last few questions are just being answered. Thank you to everyone who contributed tonight, hopefully you’ve found some of our answers interesting or helpful.
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Crazyinlove
I feel like I'm crazy in love with 2 people at the same time and I don't know what to do with myself.... I'm totally head over heels for one guy but kinda really like this other guy too. I JUST don't know what to do with myyyysellllff?!
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Krystel eheadspace: Hey Crazyinlove. Thanks for posting your question, have a read of the response we posted earlier to Malcolm as we're finishing up soon. Hopefully you find the response helpful as it was a similar question :) all the best.
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28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Adelaide
Hi there! I have a question for you about meeting people to date and maybe even have a relationship with. All my friends use tinder but I don't know about it...They're telling me to get on it, and I don't know if this is a good thing to do. Can you please give me some advice??!!
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Jessie eheadspace: Hey Adelaide :)
Ughhh meeting people is so hard and everyone seems to be on tinder now. I think you’re right to be a bit hesitant about it – always good to question stuff before diving in. While I can’t tell you whether or not to give it a go I would suggest you have a think about whether or not it will meet your needs. Tinder can be a place to make friends and start relationships but it can also be a hook up app where people are just after a one night stand. Always good to know what you want first (and that might change over time) and be clear with the person/people you meet about it.
Safety is also important to consider - make use of tinder’s safety features by blocking people who are NQR and meet people in a public place.
It’s definitely a good way to meet people and can feel a little less awkward than just approaching people in person. You can always try it out and see what you think and if it’s not for you then delete your profile. Here’s more info that might help with your decision making: https://au.reachout.com/articles/finding-yourself-a-good-match
Your friends might be a good source of wisdom on this stuff too Adelaide. Happy tindering?
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Tim
When my boyfriend and I fight I get really upset, cry etc and that gets him really angry and then i get more upset and then he gets even more angry. Vicious circle. What's best way to stop that happening from both of us.
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kim headspace: Hey Tim!
It's really difficult when you guys care about each other but when you're fighting, it just seems to get out of control. We can say some really hurtful things when we're in those heated arguments.
Have a look at the following link to try some strategies that might help:
Another options is trying some couples counselling. It can be helpful having some professional help to get some guidance on how to manage these fights. Relationships Australia provide couples counselling: http://www.relationships.org.au
The good sign is that you guys are aware of it. And that's the first step towards making some changes.
Good luck Tim :)
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kristal eheadspace: Sorry if there were questions that we didn't get to -
I’ll pop in some links that might be helpful too -
Information about romantic relationships
This is a good link to use for assessing your romatic relationship http://lovegoodbadugly.com/
This link looks at how to maintain friendships https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-care-and-maintenance-of-friendship/
A general link about making friends and social skills https://au.reachout.com/mental-fitness/communication-skills
Our next live info session will be on “Cyber safety, internet dating and social media – your online presence” and we look forward to seeing you there 
Participant
Participant
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Comment From Adelaide
Thanks so much Jessie- your response was super helpful :)
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Jessie eheadspace: Awesome talking to you all - Cya :)
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Kim headspace: Thanks for logging on everyone! Awesome questions. Night :)
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Zee headspace: Bye wonderful people!
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
bye for now:)
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm
Krystel eheadspace: Goodbye everyone :)
eheadspace Moderator
Moderator
28th Aug, 12:28 pm